In an attempt to get me to pay attention to her, some girl soliciting donations said to me,
"I like your chest hair. It makes you look like a man."
My inner attention whore (lol “inner” as if) loved the compliment, and I had to give her credit for realizing that my man cleavage is a desperate cry for attention… but not enough credit that I actually donated anything/bothered to learn what organization she was from/made eye contact with her.
I mean like, let’s get real, girl. I don’t leave half my shirt unbuttoned so that I can sponsor some kid in Africa, I do it so that someone will sponsor me out of having to work for a living.