Huh?
Once upon a time during freshman year, my friends and I were at a coffee shop. We were all trying to get work done, except for me, because of my life-threatening allergies to productivity and doing anything resembling work. I just wrote out what I was thinking (I do this a lot, actually), to make it look like I was doing something. Four years later, I don’t remember what most of this was referring to (although the Celine Dion and Madonna lyrics are pretty self-explanatory), but it’s definitely an interesting read.
So yeah
Not a fan of doing productive work
My coffee tastes kind of weird
I don’t get this bail-out deal
I don’t get any of politics
The guy sitting next to us, the one alone, is kind of hot
Except I’m not so much a fan of the eyebrow ring.
But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. I’d adjust.
I wonder how long we’ll be here, and if I’ll manage to avoid productivity the whole time
I also wonder what [awful Canadian professor I wrote about yesterday] would think of these
She’d probably think they’re insightful
Because she is a stupid Canadian
Yeah.
Sarah Palin
Is a stupidface
I really want to know
What made McCain pick her.
In what world is she a good choice?
Although, her Alaska accent is pretty adorable
Except I probably would get super-annoyed with it, really fast.
So yeah.
Sangtins can suck it.
A LOT.
YOU KNOW WHAT HILARY? EXPRESS YOURSELF. THERE.
Don’t go for second best, baby, put your love to the test…make him express how he feels…and I don’t know the rest of the words.
I made it through the wilderness
Somehow I made it through
Didn’t know how lost I was
Until I found you
I was beat
Incomplete
I’d been had
I was sad and blue
But you made me feel
Yeah you made feel
So shiny & new
Like a virgin (hey!)
Touched for the very first time
Like a virgin
When your heart beats
Next to mine.
When I grow up, I want to be famous.
No really, I do.
It seems way easier than other jobs. Plus it pays a shitload.
And people idolize you. Which is what I really want. What I really really want.
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”
Did that line ever confuse everyone? Were the Spice Girls just really into free love? I would have loved Posh for free. I would have loved her LONG TIME. Ooh yeah. Sucky fucky two dolla? Hellz yeah.
I really should get work done. How DO I get work done? Seriously. I manage to turn things in, but when the hell do they happen?
I look so hood right now, which is ironic, because I am actually wearing a hood.
Ha ha.
How the fuck did I make it to two pages? And why does the actual number two in this font look weird?
Dear Eyebrow Piercing Boy,
Do me.
Hugs & Kisses,
Matt
P.S. Right now.
Was P.S. I Love You good? I’m going to guess it wasn’t, but there’s no harm in asking.
Hilary is such a cunt-waffle. SERIOUSLY. OMG. She smells like a baked clam full of Indian food. And by “Indian,” I mean the ones in India, not the ones that probably get a free pass into [awful Canadian professor]’s (cavernous, smelly) vagina because she creams her granny panties (I’m just assuming that’s what she has on, but I’m probably right) at the very thought of them.
Mike smells. I don’t have any more to say on that, I was just in an insult-y mood.
NYQUIL!!
Wow, I can’t believe that Microsoft word knows the word “NyQuil.” That is weird. Wait, actually it doesn’t. Shit.
That was disappointing.
I need to get laid. Just a side note.
I really, really enjoy this font.
What if my face got frozen in a really unattractive way?
Seriously, I should probably do actual work.
I bet everyone around me think I’m being really productive. JOKE’S ON YOU, FOOLS!!
These fucking flies need to leave me alone.
I drove all night
To get to you
I drove all night
Crept in your room
Woke you from your sleep
To make love to you
Is that all right?
I drove all night.
‘Cause I’m you laaaaaaaady…and you are my maaaaaan
Whenever you REACH for me, I’ll do all that I caaaaaaan
GAH! Flies. Also, fat thighs. Which rhymes. But both are depressing.
FUCK YOU HILARY. HARD. AND FAST. AND WITHOUT LUBE. THAT’S WHAT YOU GET FOR…..RAINING ON MY PARADE
BITCHASS.
